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January 02, 2022
Scrap the New Year's Resolutions: 10 Intentions You Can Set in 2022 To Prioritize Your Self-care

If you haven't had much success with makingNew Year's resolutions, perhaps you need to stop making resolutions and start setting intentions instead.  In this episode, Peggie Kirkland (PK), Host and Executive Producer of Momma’s Motivational Messages challenges listeners to set intentions instead of making resolutions as they start this new year.  The important thing a…


Transcript

Peggie Kirkland  0:04  

Welcome to the Momma's Motivational Messages podcast, where women learn to stop putting themselves on the back burner, and start paying attention to caring for themselves first, so they can be better for everyone else in their lives. I know you'll be inspired by the stories of resiliency and starting over of health and self healing, of gaining clarity through journaling, of showing self love through world travel, and the list goes on. I encourage you to relax and enjoy. I'm your host, Peggie Kirkland, PK.

 

Peggie Kirkland  0:46  

Hi, everyone. Happy, happy, happy new year to all of you. I hope that the New Year keeps you in good health, and that you experience abundance beyond measure in every area of your lives. So as we start this new year, I wanted to take this opportunity to share my thoughts about making new year's resolutions. Now, we all know that the beginning of a new year is when many people decide to make New Year's resolutions about things they want to improve in their lives. If you're one of those people, just stop for a moment and ask yourself, How successful have you actually been in seeing those resolutions come to fruition or bear fruit. I was thinking really hard about New Year's resolutions, and the fact that we tend to lose steam, right about mid-March, I think. And so I wanted an alternative to making resolutions. When I ran across this article in the AARP online magazine. The information for you to access that article will be in the Show Notes. So in this article, the writer focused on setting intentions rather than making resolutions. And that resonated with me because it sort of met me right in the place where I was and what I was thinking about.

 Peggie Kirkland  2:26  

 In this article, the writer quotes Diane Raab, a psychologist and author who describes intentions as something you want to manifest in your life, or some guiding principle that you want to live by. Raab says that an intention is the beginning of a dream or a desire that allows you to focus on the journey, instead of on the outcome, that end point. But the important thing that I want you to remember about intentions is that they challenge you to keep your goal front and center. And just to keep on that journey to persist, even in the face of challenges until you get to that end point. 

 Peggie Kirkland  3:14  

So what is an intention, then? It is a clear and positive statement about an outcome you desire. But you can't stop there. You have to align your attitude with what you want to achieve. For example, if your intention is to fit into a specific size in your closet, you have to make a plan about how you're going to get there. What process are you going to need to go through to get to your destination? What systems are you going to have to put in place? Think about it, right? What happens when you go to the supermarket without setting an intention, (and I know this has happened to every one of you), you end up with a shopping cart full of groceries you never intended to buy. It's the same thing if you left home without an intention of getting to a specific destination. you'll basically be driving until you run out of gas and who needs that at today's gas prices. 

 Peggie Kirkland  4:22  

That's why you need a roadmap or GPS for how you plan to carry out your intention. And by the way, when you set your intention, make sure it is positive, uplifting and in the present tense. For example, if your intention is to have more loving relationships in your life, don't say, "I'm tired of feeling taken advantage of," even though that is precisely how you might be feeling. Instead, say something like my intention is to cultivate more loving relationships in 2022.  And then let your mind help you identify the ways in which you can do this. Then once you have selected your intention, write it down, and then list the realistic action steps you can commit to, in order to manifest that intention because we tend to follow through on things we commit to paper, more than things we commit to memory. 

 Peggie Kirkland  5:27  

So I'd like to share 10 intentions that you can set. And even though they're in no particular order, they still speak to the pillars of self-care, that is physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, financial, and professional well-being that form the themes of our podcast.  Just choose one or two to really focus on to get you started on your journey. And then I want you to make a plan that allows you to make small changes at first. For example, if weight loss is an intention, and it is for many of us, and you know, that's what we focus on at the start of the year. But don't think you have to start with a drastic diet, or by setting unrealistic workout goals. Perhaps you can start by just learning more about your body type, and its needs; maybe you can get a nutritionist so together, you can make a plan for your journey. Remember, small changes can have big impacts that can help you feel less stressed, more fulfilled, and more energized. So here goes. 

 Peggie Kirkland  6:47  

Number one: set achievable goals, and reward yourself when you achieve them. Don't ever try to change everything at once. Start with small steps. The beginning of the year is a classic time when gym memberships increase, and people buy new workout outfits so they can look cute when they sweat. And what happens is, you start off at a breakneck speed. And within a few weeks, you burn out. Why is that? Probably because you set a goal that was hard to stick with; a goal that was hard to achieve. So instead of setting a goal to walk an hour, every day initially, perhaps you can just start with a goal that you know you can achieve, like 10 minutes at a time, and gradually, you can increase that over time because the way our brain works, the more you accomplish, the more you will want to accomplish. I remember this expression from my mom, she would always say, "Inch by inch, it's a cinch, but by the yard, it's hard." So don't try to change everything all at once. Start with one goal. And when that habit becomes embedded in your brain, then you can introduce a new goal. This strategy reminds me of dealing with my children when they were newborns, because a pediatrician would always say to me introduce solid foods slowly and one at a time. So if your child has an allergic reaction, you can quickly identify the food that caused it. In the same way, you don't want to overwhelm your brain with a bunch of changes, or you will quit very soon. Instead, you'll experience a sense of satisfaction each time you accomplish what you set out to do. And that's going to make you want to do more because it's going to make your brain happy as it releases those feel-good, those feel-good hormones, endorphins. And you will want to experience this sensation over and over again because who wouldn't choose feeling pleasure over pain? 

 

Peggie Kirkland  9:19  

Number two, did you end the year feeling unhappy or unfulfilled? Then let me say this to you. It's time to snatch back your happiness. And don't do it timidly either. Do it with purpose and intention. Put your back into it man. Ask yourself, what's holding me back from experiencing happiness in my life? Are they internal or are they external factors or both? You might have to take some time to think this through. And you're going to really have to be honest with yourself to identify what the challenge is. And then ask yourself, "What intention am I going to set, and what strategy am I going to use to get started on my journey?" And stay focused until you get to your end point. 

 

Peggie Kirkland  10:12  

Number three, start practicing gratitude. You know, I believe that gratitude is an important part of taking care of yourself. When you can recognize what's going on in your life, how well you've done, how far you've come and how blessed you are, you're setting the stage to receive even more blessings. So start each day with a grateful, "Yay!" For me, I make a journal entry almost every day. And I always start by thanking God for protecting me while I slept. And allowing me to wake up with breath in my lungs, so I can breathe for another day. So start practicing gratitude. 

 

Peggie Kirkland  11:04  

Number four, keep your home organized. Now I know that's much more easily said than done. So I recently snuck away for a little bit of a vacation. And two things stood out to me during that that brief vacay. For one thing, it was the first time I had packed as sparingly as I did, because I didn't want to stress my shoulders out with a heavy suitcase. The other thing I noticed is that without having the clutter of overflowing closets, always in the background, or the foreground, I felt so much more relaxed, and I came back refreshed and rejuvenated. You know, I think there's a lot to be said for having a minimalistic lifestyle, because it just increases the amount of time you have for the things you love. So in 2022, think about how you can clear the clutter from your life. You might want to schedule a day and a time to do this over the next few months. Since no one except Marie Kondo, who is a Japanese organizing consultant (and that will be in the show notes),  she's the only one I know who enjoys what I call the drudgery of clearing clutter. What I do is I trick my brain by setting a timer for how long I will spend in this activity. And if it's something that doesn't require mental alertness, like sorting through mail or taking care of financial records, I turn on my favorite playlist of dance music, or I listen to other podcasts. And when the timer goes off, I either stop or if I feel energized by my progress, I reset it for some additional minutes, but never to the point of getting exhausted. The key here is to avoid working yourself to the point of overwhelm, or you won't engage in this activity again. 

 Peggie Kirkland  13:24  

Number five, combat loneliness by joining a professional or social organization or volunteer somewhere.When you give to others, it's an excellent way to use your free time, or just to engage with other like-minded adults; you get such a sense of satisfaction that comes with giving to others and that can bring you such joy, and really decrease your own feelings of loneliness. 

 Peggie Kirkland  13:57  

Number six, and in some ways, this relates a little bit to number five, find alternate ways to socialize. Socialization is critical to emotional and mental wellness. That's what the research says. As we all know, the pandemic has created a situation where gathering in large mixed groups can lead to infection. So try meeting in groups of three to four people who share your views and that of scientific research about being healthy and enjoy each other's company. I actually did this during the holiday season, and it was one of my best holiday seasons I must say. But now that the holidays are over and variants are running rampant, you may want to move to zoom gatherings, but I suggest that you keep them small so everyone can feel heard and contribute to the conversation. Research says social laughter releases feel-good hormones in our brains and that can chase the blues away. 

 Peggie Kirkland  15:09  

Number seven, change your mindset from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) to JOMO (joy of missing out). Remember, you don't have to be all things to all people. So be bold and set boundaries for how you will interact with others. And instead of being fearful of missing out on some event, be intentional and enjoy missing out on some events, so that you can maximize your time to focus on your self-care. 

 Peggie Kirkland  15:43  

Number eight, set a financial intention. Now, whether that's setting up or growing your emergency fund, establishing or maintaining a vacation or holiday fund, or finding out about investing your accumulating funds. And by the way, you should do this, even if you're working on eliminating debt. This is also probably a good time to cut back on excessive spending on subscriptions you barely use, or you don't use at all, and take inventory of your eating or ordering out habits. Are you doing more of this than preparing less expensive healthy meals at home? Perhaps you're engaging in more retail therapy from the comfort of your couch or bed and filling closets that are already overflowing. If you set a financial intention, it's going to help you refocus where you spend your hard-earned dollars. And if you're struggling with this, get a financial planner or a financial advisor to help you get started. 

 Peggie Kirkland  16:58  

Number nine, if you're thinking about altering your professional situation, think about what change you want to make. Maybe you need more training to enhance your skill set. Or maybe you need to just be self-reflective, and change your attitude toward the situation. Or maybe you need to change jobs altogether because you're in a toxic situation. I've been there before and it's no fun. So if you can't handle this on your own, you might want to think about hiring a life coach or a career coach or someone who does both to help you get started on this intention. 

 Peggie Kirkland  17:43  

And finally, Number 10, Clear your contact list of people who have no positive effect on your life. You already know who they are. So what are you waiting for? People who you know don't hold the same space for your success as you do they won't  impact your life positively, or inspire and encourage you to accomplish your goals. Remember, you get to decide who you will admit into your sphere of positive intentions. You can start by limiting your communications with them and increasing the time you spend with whatever motivates and encourages and inspires you. So as you launch into 2022 I want to encourage you to be bold and stop with the resolutions. Start setting intentions instead.

 Peggie Kirkland  18:38  

 If you've been inspired and encouraged by the positive messages in today's show, please take a moment to rate and review the show on Apple podcast. This will help to keep the show alive. And remember, sharing is caring. So don't forget to share these gems with friends and family strangers to if you like let them know it's available wherever they listen to their podcast. I'm counting on you to share the love. Until next time. This is PK sending you much light and a whole lot of love.