The holidays are notorious for creating stress, as people try to manage their usual activities with the increased tasks that go along with celebrating the holidays, such as shopping for perfect gifts and making plans to entertain family. If you add being a perfectionist to the mix then you’ve got the perfect recipe for a stressful holiday. Additionally, when you consi…
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Peggie Kirkland 0:06
Hi, everyone. it's PK here again. Well, my hiatus lasted a little longer than I anticipated. But all I can say is life got in the way. And I won't bore you with the details. But I did suffer a few losses of friends who were like family. And it really helps you put things back in perspective. But like I said, I won't bore you with the details. I can say, though, that we have to be so aware of the fact that what we have is this moment in time, and we really should use it to the best of our ability. So let's move on.
Peggie Kirkland 0:50
Now, I shared with you in previous episodes, that I am what I call a recovering perfectionist. That means that sometimes I get it right. And sometimes, I fall back on old habits of wanting everything to be just so. Anyway, I make better decisions, sometimes about how much time to invest in a project than I do at other times. For example, this is a case in point. So I was installing a screen protector on my new iPad. And have you noticed how much easier it is now to do that than it used to be in the past. Because now when you order a screen protector, it comes with a plastic frame that fits perfectly on your tablet. And then you just have to insert the screen protector. Of course you do all the things they tell you to do to make sure that there's no dirt or dust on the screen, and voila, you fit it into the frame. And there it is. It's done. Well, I was doing just that. But I had one small issue, I couldn't seem to get all of the air bubbles out. So I decided I would try it again.
Peggie Kirkland 2:03
The second time, it was almost perfect. But there was one small area in the top right hand corner, that just would not lose the air bubble. So, you know, the recovering perfectionist in me kept thinking whether I should try to reinstall it one more time. But I decided against that because everything else was fine, except for that one small area. And so I focused instead on using the tool they sent to get all of the air bubbles out. Well, I kept swiping it across, dragging it across the screen. And that one little spot was not going anywhere. It probably had a little bit of a fingerprint under there or something. But the more I tried, the less it worked and nothing happened. And then I, you know, I thought for a moment about it. And I just started laughing because it dawned on me that here, I was wasting precious time on one little spot. I just had to shake my head. And you know, I just said, you know, this is going to remind me that I don't have to be perfect, because frankly, that little spot and it's no more than the size of, less than the size of a dime, I would say I'm probably the only person who would see it, because I know it's there. And it doesn't interfere with the functionality nor the appearance of the iPad.
Peggie Kirkland 3:47
And so I decided, you know what, I need to just leave this alone move on with what I have to do because I was just wasting time. I guess that's why I call myself a recovering perfectionist, because I'm not fully there yet, or I would have just ignored it completely from the very beginning. And said, Let's just move on. It's not a big problem, but I'm working on it. I'm getting better trust me.
Peggie Kirkland 4:19
So that brings me to the point of this episode, which is what perfectionism has in common with the holidays. And we can narrow it down to one word stress. Now, if you are one of those people like I used to be, and you like to spend hours in stores or online, you know searching through all of the sites looking for that perfect gift, or the perfect decorations or the perfect holiday outfit or the perfect accent chairs, whatever that you have to have, that has to be perfect. And at the end of it all, you end up feeling stressed, and asking yourself where the time go. And you end up saying, I have no idea, then you are a perfect example of what perfectionism has to do with the holidays.
Peggie Kirkland 5:57
And so I thought, I'd like to share with you some ways in which you can reduce your stress level for the holidays. Think about it.
Peggie Kirkland 6:08
When you're choosing a gift, a perfect gift is a gift that's chosen with love and sent with love. Honestly, you're not responsible for the recipients reaction. Remember, it's a gift. What does that mean? It's free to them. And so if they're not appreciative of what you did for them, then it's not your problem. So don't waste time picking up this. And then asking opinions of other people in the store, calling your friend on the phone and asking what they think about it, doing a FaceTime. No. You're just wasting time trying to be perfect. You don't have to do that. In fact, if you have someone who's difficult to shop for, just ask them to share their wish list with you, and choose something from the list. This way, you're ensuring that you're buying something that they said they wanted. And this way you can add hours to your day, and to your week, and to the month and extra time to your life. So that's my first point. Don't try to find the perfect gift.
Peggie Kirkland 8:11
Now I grew up with a mom who insisted that every nook and cranny of an already clean house had to be specially cleaned for the holidays. I'm sure some of you can relate to that. It entailed moving all of the furniture, polishing the floors, polishing, we had wooden furniture at that time real wood, polish the furniture, oh my lord, cleaning window ledges and windows and all of that other good stuff. Now, as children that was our task.
-scheduled or too caught up with their own technology to be bothered with the things that you're asking them to do. Now, that's a whole other issue about who's in charge, but we're not going to go there. So what I would say to you, is when you just re-evaluate your home, and determine whether a holiday overhaul is what you need, right now, when you think about all the cleaning that you regularly do. Just focus on what's absolutely necessary to make yourself first comfortable. And then anyone else who visits you. I mean, it's exhausting to try to manage the perceptions of other people. So just do what you need to make you happy and comfortable. And if that's not possible, then hire a cleaning service for a day. This way, you can save some time, and some energy and stress.
Peggie Kirkland 11:10
Another thing that I know causes a lot of stress during the holidays is the closet hunt. What am I going to wear? I don't have anything, nothing fit. That's not always true. And one of the things that I found myself doing is going through my closet and just lining up those outfits that would come in handy if I were going out for the holidays. And that's whether I'm going out formally or informally. I want to look festive, so I want to wear the outfits that say, "Hey, the holidays are here." And so I made those easily accessible. So there's not a hunting situation when you have to, or you're called on to go out. Okay, so check out what's in the closet, you might find that you have more, we all do, much more than you remember having, and you it would save you money and stress because you're not going to buy things that you already have.
Peggie Kirkland 12:24
Now, during the pandemic, many of us were using online grocery shopping apps, I cancelled my subscription earlier this year, when we were able to go back into supermarkets without being petrified. This might be a time to renew your subscription, so that you can do some of your food shopping at home. Save time, save stress. Enjoy the holidays.
Peggie Kirkland 13:35
Finally, what I'm gonna say is keep a physical To Do List, not a list in your head because a list in your head does not get done. In fact, you get so overwhelmed thinking about what you have to do that you never get it done. A physical list is one that you can see, one that you can interact with, where you can actually physically cross off things as they get done. It really gives you a sense of accomplishment. And so I say, keep a physical to do list. And as you get things done, cross them off, and enjoy, that sense of satisfaction and enjoy
Peggie Kirkland 14:26
That's all I have to say. And don't let your need to be perfect get in the way of your enjoyment of the holidays. It'll help you to keep your stress level down. Remember, this is all the time that we have, right here right now. We can't predict the future.
Peggie Kirkland 15:18
This is PK saying Have a wonderful stress free holiday
Transcribed by https://otter.ai